Ending the Day, Option 1

(from left to right) Mayra Cortez, Pati Gomez, Kaya, Phade Wayze, Manu Montalvo, Daisy Y. Zamora, Huitzi X (image description at bottom of page)

“The Importance of Holding Space in Liberation from Monogamous Culture/Society” (for People of Color Only)

In a historically segregated city like Chicago, the Queer + Trans Non-Monogamy Discussion & Support Group for People of Color is the only known group to hold space on the South Side of Chicago. While there are many White centered spaces on the North Side, our group intentionally evades the White Gaze / Fetishization / Exotification many POC face while dating. Although our support group is fairly new, the attendance of the monthly meetings /feedback we have received affirms just how much a space and group like this is needed. Our panel is a POC centered space where the story of our group, community guidelines, and our experience organizing the discussion & support group will hopefully cultivate other POC non-monogamy groups throughout the US and other countries. Discussions about our experiences of non-monogamy /polyamory as a POC, along with how we each came to terms with non-monogamy / polyamory for ourselves, will take place.

Panelist Bios

Mayra Cortez she/her they/them queer Xicana. A photographer, organizer, traveler and lover of all things creative. Born and raised in Southern CA. A lover of community and empowerment. They desires to normalize body positivity, sexuality, and non monogamy. A member of Brown and Proud Press and the Non Monogamy Baddies. Instagram: loveandchaosx

Pati was born and raised in Checagou/Chicago (land of the Miami, Algonquian, and Potawatomi people) to immigrant parents de Zacatlan/Zacatecas and Michhuahcān/Michoacán, México. Pati comes from a long line of curanderxs which informs their own liberation healing journey from generational trauma. They are a Community Psychologist and have experience in mental health justice, early childhood education, adult education, restorative justice, and immigration advocacy. In her spare time, they enjoy planning monthly Queer + Trans Non Monogamy Discussion and Support for People of Color meetings, teaching bike maintenance and safety, learning new skills, reading, taking naps, playing sports, dancing, and annoying her 7 siblings. Pati is a member of Non Monogamy Baddies, you can request to follow them on IG @alrightokaaay.

Kaya { she/they – queer, femme, non-monogamous Filipinx – architectural designer by profession – designer, activist, gardener, composter, uke bopper – my life is a series of conscious & unconscious decisions that somehow landed me here – open to romantically, platonically, sexually intimate partnerships pero I just really love to cuddle – non-monogamy has opened up the space to explore the depths of my autonomy, intimacy, and vulnerability in a white cishet normative society – I am decolonizing, liberating, and healing my Self }

Phade Wayze is a native Chicagoan. Born and raised on the Southside of Chicago. Phade has a background of research concerning the politicization of family structures within the U.S. They also possess heuristic experience of being a Kweer Nonmonogamous Blaq person who has had to navigate the stark racial divides within our heavily segregated city. Phade is an experienced and accomplished community activist who has worked on several political campaigns advocating for Kweer PoC/Blaq people. Phade’s dedication to facilitating the growth of communities to the effect of empowerment is fluid within their focus upon facilitating brave spaces for QTNMPOC.

Manu Montalvo is a Queer artist from Cancun, Quintana Roo. Their experience as a Non-Binary, Immigrant, PoC inspires their artistic focus on the effects that cultural integration have on the sense of self. An advocate for food equity, urban agriculture and co-operative models of living, Manu believes in the power of mutual aid and creative collaboration. Manu’s love for profound, multifaceted, human interaction has led them to an inspiring community of Queer Trans Non-Monogamous PoC, and they are excited to continue growing in solidarity with them. As a member of the interdisciplinary art collective, Earphoria: Chicago, Manu looks forward to continue building relationships with people who are motivated to impact the world, and their local communities, through resource-sharing, cultural exchange, and compassion.

Daisy Y. Zamora is a queer chicanx chika who likes to follow her own tune. Daisy is a core member of Brown & Proud Press, a collective of writers, artists and illustrators based in Chicago who create zines and sell them. Daisy is a doula with Chicago Volunteer Doulas and a light/resuscitation/heart worker as well. Daisy is a core member of Non Monog Baddies and has been from the very beginning. Daisy hopes that everyone is pursuing their wildest dreams (with consent of other parties involved if needed) and living their best life forever. Check out Daisy’s IG feed @breathe_amor

Huitzi X (2S+NB) (she.he.they.it) community organizer, curious kink, multi disciplinary artist. hey so my name is Huitzi X, i do great things and am excited to be a part of CNMC 2019. for me this is the year of building strong relationships/foundations for the ongoing, necessary work that will continue years after now. it’s also the year of taking up space, taking all we’ve learned from the past and applying it now, and setting intentions to serve our highest purpose. i am interested in exploring non-monogamy as a way of resisting mainstream relationship culture (the classic nuclear family), and creating a network of relationships where our needs as multi dimensional humans can be met in a variety of ways.

Imagine description: A panel of 7 different people in 7 separate images set adjacent to each other. In the first image, Mayra is pictured juxtaposed in front of the camera holding a bouquet of sunflowers and daisies. They are wearing a black floppy hat, their hair is blue-green, her black tank top has roses on it as well. In the second image, Pati is smiling at the camera, crouched with their right hand on her chin and their left arm resting on her left leg in front of a YLO (Young Lords Organization) cultural mural. They are wearing a black jacket, black pants and black, white, teal, purple Jordan Retro 13’s. The third image is a headshot photo of Kaya looking directly into the camera, standing against a dark background, wearing a black shirt, and holding a small glass that bears a bolting bok choy plant. Bolting is a plant’s survival mechanism where, as it dies due to a rapid change in temperature, it prematurely produces flowers and seeds. In the fourth image, Phade is pictured smiling into the camera, wearing red lipstick and mascara with a nicely groomed beard. She is wearing a black shirt with one thick light brown beaded necklace and four or five stone necklaces of different colors, they also have a wooden cross necklace. The fifth image is a headshot photo of Manu looking at the camera with their head slightly tilted back and their mouth slightly open. Manu is wearing a light green button down shirt, their hair is in shoulder length pigtail braids, and they have thick silver hoop earrings. A green plant is to their right while a light purple plant is on their left with the stems and leaves drape in front of them. Behind them are tissue paper flowers hanging from the ceiling and a soft yellow light. The sixth image is a headshot of Daisy looking down into the camera with her head slightly tilted to her left. Her curly hair is down on the right side of her face while the left is shaven. Daisy is wearing long ornamental earrings and a light grey sweater over a lime green bralette. Part of her tattoo on her abdomen shows as well as part of her high waisted belt. In the final image, Huitzi is pictured in a car with a seatbelt on and a blue sky with clouds is in the rearview. She is looking directly at the camera and is wearing a baseball cap with a bandanna underneath, and long earrings in the shape of an arrowhead, their hair is down. The sun is shining on his face.

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