Boundaries, Option 3

undefined “Healing with Each Other, Not through Each Other”

Jes and Xochitl, both social workers, began dating in January 2019 and have spent countless hours discussing mental health, trauma and triggers. This informal session will create space to discuss the ways in which traumatic experiences can impact ones experience with non-monogamy. The session will include information on trauma and PTSD, personal experiences and lessons learned as queer people with PTSD, and will explore questions like 1) how does my attachment style show up in this relationship? 2) how do I know when I’m feeling misunderstood? 3) when and how do I share my triggers with a partner?

Bios: Xochitl (he/him) is a social worker currently working at Evolution Counseling, Inc. in Naperville. In his current position, Xochitl utilizes a trauma informed, anti-oppressive, culturally humble lens to inform his clinical work with clients, who include LGBTQIA+ folks, teens dealing with grief, depression, and anxiety, couples with trauma backgrounds, and immigrant populations. Concurrently, he is a volunteer baby cuddler at the UIC NICU and a volunteer therapist at the Kovler Center for Victims of Torture. Xochitl graduated with a Masters degree from the University of Chicago in 2016 and since then has worked in a wide range of settings and roles including CASA advocate, empowerment specialist at a youth shelter, crisis worker, and team lead for a transitional living program for adults with severe mental illness.

Jes (they/them) is the Director of Operations & Outreach at Praxis Group, and a community organizer based in Chicago. In their previous roles, they have worked on fair & affordable housing and immigration reform. Jes continues to center these values in their facilitation work with Praxis Group. They prioritize initiatives that address systems of oppression while simultaneously empowering people & ensuring all voices are heard, especially in decision-making processes. Jes’s work challenges assumptions of white heteropatriarchal culture as normative and deconstructs gender dichotomy. Jes is a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer who served in Togo from 2010 to 2012. They received their BSW from Illinois State University in 2010 & their MSW from Loyola University Chicago in 2017.

Image Description: 2 images, side by side. The first image is a headshot of Xochitl. He is standing in front of a dark background, smiling directly at the camera. His shoulder length hair is falling over the right side of his face, and the left side of his head is shaved. They have on a black cardigan over a grey shirt, and are wearing glasses. The second image is a headshot of Jes. They are smiling at the camera, standing in front of a brightly colored background. Their brown hair is short, and they are wearing a dark grey blazer over a black shirt, with black glasses.

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